Text by Nobel Prize in Literature Laureate Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Translated from Spanish by Kalpna Singh-Chitnis
I have heard countless men expressing a desire for an intelligent woman in their lives. I would urge them to deeply consider what they’re asking for. Intelligent women are self-determined; they make decisions autonomously, pursue their personal desires, and establish their own boundaries. You will never be the sole focus of their world because their life orbits around their own self.
An intelligent woman doesn’t tolerate manipulation or blackmail, she doesn’t passively accept blame, she takes responsibility. Intelligent women question, analyze, and discuss; they refuse to merely accept, they push forward. These women had a vibrant life before you, and they are well aware that they’ll continue to have that once you are gone.
She exists to make her own declarations, not to seek permission. These women aren’t in search of a partner who’s a leader to follow, a father to sort out their life, or a son for her rescuing. They neither desire to trail behind you nor mark the path for anyone else; they wish to walk alongside you.
She recognizes that living a life free from any kind of violence is a basic human right, not a luxury or a privilege. These women express their anger, sadness, joy, and fear equally, understanding that fear doesn’t render them weak just as anger doesn’t make them ‘masculine’. These and all other emotions, combined, make her a human, nothing more or less!
An intelligent woman basks in freedom, a freedom she has tirelessly fought for. She doesn’t see herself as a victim but as a survivor. Attempt not to chain her, as she has fought for her freedom and she possesses the knowledge to liberate herself. Remember, she’s done so before.
The intelligent woman knows that her worth isn’t rooted in the appearance of her body nor in what she does with it. So, reconsider before judging her on her age, height, size, or sexual behavior. These are forms of emotional violence, and she is acutely aware of that.
Hence, prior to uttering a word about wanting an ‘intelligent’ woman in your life, question yourself, whether you are truly prepared to assimilate into hers.
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“A cuántos hombres he escuchado decir que desean a una mujer inteligente en sus vidas.
Yo los animaría a que lo pensaran bien.
Las mujeres inteligentes
toman decisiones por si mismas, tienen deseos propios y ponen límites.
Tú nunca serás el centro de su vida porque ésta gira en torno a ella misma.
Una mujer inteligente no va a dejarse manipular ni chantajear, ella no se traga culpas, asume responsabilidades.
Las mujeres inteligentes
cuestionan, analizan, discuten,
no se conforman, avanzan.
Esas mujeres tuvieron vida antes de ti y saben que la seguirán teniendo una vez que tu te hayas ido.
Ella está para avisar, no para pedir permiso.
Esas mujeres no buscan en la pareja a un líder a quien seguir,
a un papá que les resuelva la vida, ni un hijo a quien rescatar.
Ellas no quieren seguirte ni marcarle el camino a nadie,
quieren caminar a tu lado.
Ella sabe que la vida libre de violencia es un derecho,
no un lujo ni un privilegio.
Ellas expresan enojo, tristeza,
alegría y miedo por igual,
porque saben que el miedo
no las vuelve débiles de la misma forma en que el enojo no las vuelve “masculinas”.
Esas dos emociones y las demás, todas en conjunto, la vuelven humana Y ya!
Una mujer inteligente es libre porque ha peleado por su libertad.
Pero no es víctima, es sobreviviente.
No trates de encadenarla
porque ella sabrá como escapar.
Recuerda que ya lo ha hecho antes.
La mujer inteligente sabe que su valor no radica en la apariencia de su cuerpo
ni en lo que haga con él.
Piénsalo dos veces antes de juzgarla por su edad, estatura, volumen o conducta sexual,
porque esto es violencia emocional y ella lo sabe.
Así que… antes de abrir la boca para decir que deseas
a una mujer “inteligente” en tu vida, pregúntate si tú realmente estás hecho para encajar en la suya.”
Gabriel García Márquez
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Image: Rekha (India) for Vogue Arabia, July/August 2023
Photo: Tarun Khiwal
